The Answering Machine
by Nellbell222
Summary: Dan is not in the mood to hear from his father, Serena and especially not Charlie. There is only one voice he wants to hear on his answering machine and there is no way in HELL that is happening. Pre-season finale. Oneshot!


**A/N: Well…this has been disappointing. I'm not even going to rant about it but I will say this: I hate people and that includes you Charlie! And Chuck a little! Ugh I hate her character and I can feel it in my bones that she will try and hook up with Dan…again sort of. Kill me now. Anyways, I hope you like this little Oneshot. I am in the process of writing an ABC of Dair but that probably won't be out until after the show is over. So…Enjoy! **

**Also there is MILD Charlie -bashing but since I've seen people don't like her, so…I think it will be okay. :) **

Disclaimer: Oops! I forgot this with my other recent oneshot. I don't own Gossip Girl! Otherwise, I would have killed Charlie off in a freak accident already or better, listen here writers, I wouldn't have even put her on the damn show! Genius!

**The Answering Machine **

**By: Nellbell222**

Dan Humphrey was wallowing.

He has not written anything in days…or weeks for that matter. But ever since Blair's engagement party and Saint Jude's…scandal; Dan felt bad for himself. He had been down in the dumps when Serena and him broke up the first time but he got back out there, maybe too soon; he had felt used with Georgina; he felt disappointed and betrayed by Vanessa but he felt nothing like he was feeling now.

His whole heart was breaking and he wanted to write about it but all he can do is watch Audrey Hepburn movies on Netflix. He saw her with the Prince and all he could do is make out with silly Charlie. He used her to get over Blair and it most certainly did not work. He felt a little weird kissing her and all he wanted was Blair to kiss him.

Now, on his fifth pizza in over a week, he was still not ready to move on. He wanted to be able to hold Blair and watch the movie with her while bantering about Audrey's acting abilities. Did she really think that the Prince could do that with her? He guessed she did since she was marrying the bast…

He will not be bitter and he will never be a wallowing, sad man. Even if that was exactly what he is doing at the morning while gaining about twenty pounds. He hears his phone ring but ignores it and continues to eat his sadness away.

"Dan, its Dad. I just wanted to hear from you. I haven't seen you in about a week and I was wondering where you were hiding. Just call me back. Serena wants to talk to you as well so just call, us back then. Bye."

Dan groaned then deleted the message. He didn't want to talk to his father or Serena. Then, as soon as he deleted the last message, another phone call came through and Dan sighed.

"Dan…it's Charlie. You haven't returned any of my phone calls and I was wondering what was up? I hope I didn't try and pressure you or anything." Dan laughed.

"Well I bet you miss me as much as I do you so call me back…please. I don't want things to be weird with us. Please call me back Dan…I love y-" Dan slammed the answering machine cancel button. He would not hear any of that shit today. That is especially when he was not in love with the person saying those dreadful words. He had waited his whole preteen existence waiting for one blonde to say them to him and now he wanted nothing more than her best friend to.

Dan decided to stay away from all blondes, redheads, and girls with black hair since they really didn't have a name. He laughs and then thinks to himself that he has finally gotten to the cliff of insanity and was one toe away from free falling.

His phone rings again and he waits to shut his Dad, Serena or Charlie up but instead hears a completely different voice on the other end.

"Dan…it's Blair. Blair Waldorf. Oh! What other Blair would you know? Well, I shouldn't say that because I have no freaking idea who you are waiting for to call. Anyways, I just wanted to say…that…I think I left my purse at your house. One of them anyways and I was wondering if I could have it back. Not that you would want a Marc Jacobs purse, well, I don't know, maybe your new girlfriend wants it. I have no idea." Dan noted that Blair sounded more nervous than ever before.

"So…I guess…its goodb-Wait! Dan…I miss you. I miss you so much. I miss our movies, galleries and lunches. I miss falling asleep talking to you and being "not friends". I know you are there Dan so please…I don't want to lose my best guy friend. I want you by my side at my wedding and when I have my babies. I want you to be their godfather even though I don't go to church! I love you Daniel Randolph Humphrey! So answer the phone and be my best friend again!"

Dan smiled. She loved him and he loved her. Maybe her love was not marriage and family love but he could deal with that. He knew how to be Blair's friend. Actually, he knew how to be her best friend; so he answered the phone with a cocky, "Hello? May I ask who is speaking?"

**Not as expected! But I figured that this is what is going to happen during the show so I might as well go with the flow of things. Even if I want them to be together forever but this way they still will be! Yay! **

**READ AND REVIEW! **


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